this is the first time and maybe last time...

this is the first time i cried for a girl for whole night ,
this is the first time i sacrifice a lot of thing for girl ,
this is the first time i feel a true love is exists,
this is the first time i feel love is so wonderful and blessedness,
this is the first time i prepare a lot of thing for a girl,
this is the first time i feel heart is missing and hear become broken pieces,
this is the first time i skip class for a girl,
this is the first time i love a girl so deeply,
this is the first time .... too much...

i cant,maybe no more....
i love you really so much that's why at the end i cried so much and i hurt so deeper...my world suddenly so clouded my head my face feel cramp...its numb..its hurt...its sad...its missing...if its a GAME, why both of us will cried...is that unhappy moment u choose rather then happy moment ? remembers the happy moment u told me u laugh until ur mouth is pain...why cant we choose live in sweet moment ? maybe im not doing well enough ...im just a nothing...when the first day we meet is at a night ur sounds is so special and i have been attract by u...ridiculous? we chat so long and our relationship increasing day by day, the first day we saw each other face i told myself this is the girl that i'll choose to company me till my last day i'll do anything to appreciate her...all the time, im trying to make u become the happiest girls but sometimes i failed...hmm maybe ? im just a small character passed by ur heart...can i to request..may i have a place inside ur heart...just a little small place...tears really continuously dropped out...i cant..i cant stop it and i cant control it..because i really love u so much...u know !

sorry that i did not catch u tight...i always said something wrong and spoiled everything...why cant u just be patience...just a little bit more ? pass all difficulty another door is our blessedness...

but u rather choose to give up this then let me holding ur hand pass all the difficulty...im so stupid...i think...we'll till the end...
at the end...im the one who made all of this damaged, spoiled everything...im not perfect enough...but i had used all of my love my everything to prove it "I LOVE U" that's what had i done...i wont regret..the end is coming...arrive...but..i have no strength to stand...i feel i lost everything i only left a pain that come from my heart, someone is took my heart...heart had been cut and inside only left pain...whole night i have reread our conversation our message...i so happy that i found u in live...malaysia million of people...fate made us to meet each other...

i'll pretend nothing happen on me...at night maybe my bed will wet..i dont know why u think this is a game...because of the distance ? im trying to solve it...why cant we solve together ? Dont just spend ur time thinking about others people what they feel, u treated urself too bad...what people u too cares about...made u always sad...dont cried too much...its will harm ur eye ur body...sometimes please think of yourself...u r a good girl that i ever meet before...now..u shouldn't think about it...u are facing ur big days...u have to be strong...Remember ton and dew ? im still waiting receive ur letter...receive the song u wrote for me...can i receive it ?

i cant write it more...i'll cry more worse more worst...i cant be a man so strong and can stand in everything...im a failure...last thing...that i want to require...can we be a friend...even we cant become couple...i wish that till my last day we still can contact...we only left handphone can contact each other...please...just be a friend...time..maybe..can cure me...but...lucky i lose all my faith...what i want..is just be a friend with u...i want ur smile...ur smile..is my everything...maybe..not the right time now...but..i'll wait for you..1years ? no problem...my life have locked with u...can..you dont forget about me...please...dont forget about me...i love u...really so much...